The ‘New Normal’ Lexicon, by Ian Jenkins


Certainly all sorts of things about coronavirus and the response to it could give rise to humor, mostly of the black, cynical kind. From Ian Jenkins at

Extracts from ‘The New Normal Lexicon’ by Greta Reset, Professor of Neology at Schwabgate University.


Mask eye: the nasty beady-eyed glare, a mix of hatred and fear, given by a ‘maskaholic” to someone not wearing a ‘face covering’.


Maskaholic: Someone who wears their mask regardless of the surroundings e.g. alone in a car, on the top of a mountain or under water.


Face covering: Absolutely anything used to cover the lower half of the face in order to comply with regulations and gain access to a restricted zone – anything will do as efficacy in preventing disease transmission is not a requirement: underpants, a chiffon scarf, a hairnet.

There is also no requirement for face coverings to…

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