From The Babylon Bee:
LOS ANGELES, CA—In a stunning reversal of almost a full year of devastating lockdowns that decimated California businesses, California Governor Gavin Newsom has decided to reverse them all and finally allow businesses to get back to work.
“I’m not sure why everyone left,” said Newsom, hanging his head. “We followed the dictates of SCIENCE and saved billions of lives. Everyone should be thanking me!”
When asked if Newsom’s sudden and drastic reversal of lockdowns had anything to do with his declining popularity and efforts to recall him as Governor, he dismissed the accusations as “absurd.”
“This has nothing to do with politics,” said the politician. “This is what SCIENCE told me to do! I’m serious– SCIENCE was standing at the foot of my bed last night and clearly told me…
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